I read about Where's Molly, a movie produced by the subjects of the film, several months ago on CNN.com. I got to view the film recently.
Where's Molly is the story of two siblings, Jeff Daly and Molly Jo Daly, of Astoria, Oregon. When Molly was almost three years old, and Jeff, only six, their parents decided to place Molly in an institution for the disabled. Only they didn't tell Jeff. The longing in his voice is readily apparent as he describes missing his only sibling and playmate of his childhood. One day she was there, his constant companion, the next day, gone forever. His parents wouldn't tell him where she'd gone, only that something was wrong with her and that she was no longer to be mentioned, asked about or even considered family.
Molly suffered from mild mental retardation, but at the time, doctors simply told families to put their children into state care and to forget them. Jeff's dad didn't forget though. He continued to see Molly, even dressing as a clown to continue to see her when his short visits upset her. The family was forever broken and saddened by the removal of Molly from their family.
I highly recommend this film to anyone, but especially anyone who has a family member with a disability of any kind. The mistreatment of disabled individuals throughout our recent history is astounding. Even though the film is relatively short (72 mins) it conveys the pain, longing and connections of a family torn apart by the system and by its own members who thought they were "doing the right thing".
In today's mainstreaming world, we need to be reminded that only a short time ago, people with even mild disabilities were often taken away from the only people who loved them and sent away. Jeff and Molly's story has a happy ending. Jeff and his wife were able to locate Molly and reconnect with her, just before her 50th birthday. They hadn't seen each other in 47 years. The message they want to send out to the world is that there are still people out there who have family members that they can't locate, or don't even know about, due to outdated privacy laws. Jeff was instrumental in changing Oregonian law to allow siblings to find institutionalized siblings, but not all states have yet followed suit.
I have an aunt who has been deaf since the age of three, due to an illness. She is about Molly's age and was sent away to school most of the time my mother was growing up in the 1940's and 1950's. My mom painfully relates how they would all cry at having to separate and that my aunt didn't understand why she couldn't stay with her family. Now, children with every kind of disability can learn and stay with their families thanks to changing educational views and thanks to changed laws.
My own children, who are not disabled, attend a school that is a magnet school for children with various disabilities, including autism, Down's syndrome and hearing impairment. They are learning firsthand that people are people first and how to interact and learn with people who may be outwardly different from themselves. I find it fortunate that our children get to see and learn this lesson early on. They are there because they are gifted, but they can share with and teach other children, while growing their own abilities.
Please visit Jeff Daly's website Where's Molly to see more about their story, to see this compelling story firsthand, and to help others connect with their missing families. As Jeff states, time is running out for these now elderly "missing and forgotten" children to find their remaining family and siblings.
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