September 11th - Time to Reflect

September 11th is a time to reflect. I won't say, "a time to remember," because no one will ever forget what happened that day. I'm reflecting because my youngest (aka Princess) daughter's age will always be the same amount of years that have passed since that fateful day. I was pregnant with her and she was born shortly after on December 31, 2001. So, every time they do a news stories about the parentless children of 9/11, I know just how old they are. I know what stage those children are going through. I get really sad about it all over again.

My oldest daughter (aka Butterfly) sympathizes each year with me (she's only 8) but can't really seem to understand why it is so depressing each time. After all, she's lived with the spectre of war post-9/11 almost her entire life. She was two when it happened. I had her with me at a Ford dealership to get my service done and that's where we found out that all the planes were hitting the world trade center. I was so shocked, I still left my car for servicing and got dropped off at home by the dealer. I promptly found out that I was locked out, because I had left my house keys on the car key ring. So I sat there, me preggo, with my little two year old, staring at the sky, wondering if something worse was about to happen, like bombs dropping out of the clouds. I actually eyed the swampy areas behind our home in Tampa as possible hiding spots. Fortunately, my subdivision's realtor happened by and we were able to break into my house, about the time my husband came with the keys. I didn't have to contemplate running into the swamp too long.

Our neighbors at the time were Bosnian refugees, who had come to the USA to escape war torn areas. They were totally freaking out and were discussing where now they could go - we all talked and managed through the day, somehow.

I've shown my kids the photos of Tim and I standing on the top of the Empire State Building, the backdrop is the twin towers, the year before the terrorists came. My daughter wonders why I cry so much when I look at it.

Only I will remember my then 2-year-old saying to me, "do I have to fight the bad men" and "will we need to get guns soon" and "I will help you fight Mommy". It's just like yesterday. She has never known anything else.

I want them both to know something else and soon. I want things to change. Please reflect and help make for world peace.

Oh and where I am this September 11th morning? Where else...at a different Ford dealership, getting service work done, but I will remember.